A few weeks ago I found myself in a Mcdonald’s in New York City at 2am. Not my proudest moment or the best way to treat myself but the Golden Arches beckoned me. The Apple Pocket tastes better at 2am (pie is something you eat with a fork.) In fact, as the night passes, the fried apple slab continues to get tastier every hour until the Sun comes up and with it rises your better judgment.
I’m in line waiting to order my setback when the the guy in front of me, having ordered his nuggets with an extra side sauce with some difficultly and slurred words, turned his attention to me. Did he need me to supplement his meal? As I looked at him looking at me, he did the drunk finger in the air as you ponder move. There’s no telling where that finger’s going to come down and what it’s going to do. On this night the finger came down into a point in my direction. Followed by…
GUY: I know you! You’re funny dude. Hey this guy is famous! What are you doing in McDonald’s?!
Why I’m getting a meal I’m going to instantly regret, of course. Isn’t that what we’re all doing here? I enjoy getting recognized from time to time and my Mickey D’s cohort was friendly and clearly a fan. I wonder if I get any more “famous” if I’ll have to give up occasional 2am Mcdonald’s runs.
MY STOMACH: Come on man get famous already!…Please!
Or maybe I’ll be given the coordinates to the hidden McDonald’s that other famous people go to. Then I could enjoy my Apple Pocket in the VIP section. Denzel, are you gonna finish those fries?