Just Add Fur

I was about to get in my car when I saw what looked like a rat scurrying from under my car. I took a step back ready to engage in full flight or full fight. Where are my numchucks when I need them?! As I stood at the ready, I looked down again and noticed it was only a squirrel. I exhaled a sigh of relief. Alas, it was only a cute little squirrel. Now squirrels are in the rodent family too. So why do we love the squirrel and hate the rat. Well, besides the squirrel having a much better Public Relations team, I think it’s the bushy fur tail. Adding fur, especially a furry tail, to anything makes it cute and harmless. Think Mike Tyson…now think Mike Tyson with a cute furry tail. See what I mean. Maybe that’s why Divas like to wear fur. They’re trying to throw everyone off the scent of their raging bitch-dom.

Assistant: She said if there are any green M&M’s in her dressing room she would back slap me with her ring hand…but she was so cute in that Chinchilla.

Little Known Fact That I Made Up: The Roman Army wore fur vests to make the opposing armies put up a weaker fight.

Beware of Gremlins toting weapons and a smirk.

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